My Testimony

It was the summer after my fourth grade year and I was invited to go to Kids Kamp with my church. I was really excited to go because I loved camp. I had an awesome week of archery, rock wall, and swimming. Towards the end of the week, Thursday night I think, there was a message from the speaker. At the end of his message, he asked if anyone wanted to give their life to Christ. I raised my hand and stayed after everyone left to pray the sinner's prayer. Everyone was really excited and really proud of me. But I didn't really understand why. The years rolled on and I didn't really understand what it meant to be a Christian. I knew there was a God and I knew that I loved Him. Then came my 6th grade year. Life was normal, until everything changed. I was over at my friend's house swimming. We had come in to eat a snack, Cheez-its and string cheese, to be exact. My step-dad called my friends house and said he was on his way to pick me up, about a half-hour before he was expected. My friend's mom asked me if I had forgotten to do some chores or something and if I was introuble. I could'nt think of anything. I had a terrible feeling in my gut. My step-dad picked me up and the only thing he said to me the whole drive home was "Buckle-up, sweetheart." I walked into my house where my mom was sitting on the couch, crying and my pastor was in a rocking chair. I was asked to sit down with my mom. I did and thats when my mom told me that my dad had died. He drowned but he saved another man's life. I didn't know what to say. The only words that escaped my mouth were "No, no, no." I couldn't believe that a God who loved me, would take my dad away. Middle school dragged on with no real connection between God and I. My freshman year came about and I began to struggle. I felt like an outsider among my highschool. I felt alone. I started really hating myself. I started cutting myself. It felt good, it was an escape. Then I met someone who seemed to really care about me. Through the help of him and my youth pastor, I found value. And I knew that these people loved me through God. So I made it out alive, and barely hanging onto the hope that God loved me. The summer between my Freshman and Sophomore year changed my life. I went to an event called NYC in St. Louis, MO. I was surrounded by thousands of other Nazarene teens. I signed up for a track (kinda like a class) called Call to Ministry, because I had been feeling like maybe I was supposed to be a youth pastor. If I had ever had any doubts about the exsistence of God, let me tell you, they were all washed away at this event. God moved in my life in such a powerful way, He confirmed my call to youth ministry. I have never felt God so strong in my life as I did at that event. I started my Sophomore year out strong, I became the Vice President of the Christian club and I loved God with all of my heart. Then I moved to Washington. That was a really hard time and I felt myself doubting God and hating everything in life. I was back to a point in my life where I felt so alone. And to be honest with you, I didn't start feeling happy until Jr. High camp this past week. I learned so much from observing the life of Jr. Highers. I learned love and acceptance. I learned what it meant to persevere through trials. I learned how blessed I truly am.

It's been a rough and rocky road, and it still is a little tough, but I will persevere. With the almighty God on my side, I will survive.

Please, pray for me.